Rant: 3D Film Reviewers

Hi. Jace's letting me ghost-write to this blog, even though it's clearly called "Jace's Rants and Raves." I am not Jace. I am a guy with my own blog that Jace is crazy enough to attach his name to. He's a nice guy. When I told him I wasn't sure if this rant was appropriate for my own blog, he just gave me access to his and said, "Rant away!" Anyway, my blog is about 3D movies. Specifically, I talk about the artistic potential of 3D in film, or how the act of being in 3D (or similar technologies, such as HFR) affects the movie going experience.

Here's why I'm ranting: I know my blog isn't up to the potential that it could be. I want to know all the many ways that 3D is important to storytelling. The problem is I don't see anybody else even attempting to do something like that. I look at film reviews (e.g. this one) and all they ever lend to interpreting the 3D in a film is one short paragraph, rarely more than 3 sentences long.

Let me do a hypothetical review of the 3D in Batman: Arkham City. In fact, I'll do a review of one scene in particular: the cut-scene before the confrontation with Mr. Freeze. In case you haven't played that game, I'll describe the scene I'm talking about quick. Also consider this sentence your official spoiler warning.

Early in the game, Batman is poisoned. The majority of the game follows batman's attempts to obtain an antidote that will allow him to survive his poisoning. Mr. Freeze is supposed to know how to build an antidote, but is trying to use that fact to leverage Batman into rescuing his wife. To do that, Mr. Freeze dramatically holds the antidote in front of Batman, with his hand and the antidote extending outside the screen in the 3D version of that cut-scene, after witch he shatters it by squeezing the vial.

Here's how I would review the 3D in that scene: The overarching theme of the game is death. You're meant to feel like the ability to avoid death is just outside Batman's capability. The 3D in this scene is utilized well to effect that emotion. The vial in the scene is held within the reach of the game's player. By all means he should be able to touch it, and is invited to try. My first time through the game I did try, only to have the vial shatter just before I could grab it. My second time through the game I was a bit quicker on the gun, and my fingers slid right through the vial before it shattered. Both instances communicated the message clearly to me. You can try again and again to avoid death, but ultimately that destiny is an inevitability. The message hits strong, and adds an emotional layer to the game not present in the 2D version. As such, I wholly suggest playing the game in 3D wherever 3D access is available.

That's the kind of thing I'm looking for. And that's only a review of one sequence that lasts less than a minute! Imagine how many metaphors, how much emotional impact, or how much visually altering imagery could be described if people were willing to read more into the 3D in an entire film! Yet, film reviewers today limit their discussion to something like, "The 3D effects in The Life of Pi are not really effects at all, in my opinion. They are part of the movie." No discussion, nothing to be able to understand why the 3D is good, and if that would be something to your tastes.

I guess that's what's upsetting me: how empty 3D film reviews are. They give me nothing to go on to understand whether the 3D version is worth spending the money on. They provide no service to anybody but the fans of 2D films. And I can't understand why any film reviewer worth their pay would be satisfied releasing such empty commentary.

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Rant: QR Code Pages

I am a big nerd, so whenever I see a QR code I have to scan it. Even if I am not remotely interested in what it is related it. On that note here is my rant.

Why don't people understand that you will scan them with a cell phone. Only rarely do I ever get a page actually made for a mobile device. They always direct to a page that was made for a computer. People need to know their audience. If you want them to go to a site on their phone, make it a site that is relevant on a phone. That is all.

Rant: Adobe Reader Desktop Icon

There are some things that it is convient to have a desktop icon for, such as a web browser. Adobe reader is not. I have never ever seen anyone open adobe reader than search for a PDF. NEVER. They click on pdf files, and adobe reader opens them. There is no reason whatsoever to have a shortcut on the desktop. Stop putting it there ever update Adobe, it is just annoying.

Also on Adobe reader. You are a free product. Version 10 or X is out. Why are there still updates for 9, and why doesn't it just update to 10. It is a newer better version, when I check for updates just move me to 10 or X don't just update 9, that is dumb. You are a free product.

Rave: My final iPhone Apps

I recently got a cool new Samsung Infuse 4G Android phone and am now free from the Apple tyranny. I decided I would still give a list of those apps which if I ever went back to an iPhone, which I would only do for battery life, which still isn't worth it, I would get. These are my recommendations to every with an iPhone. I will sort them by groups.

Any one with a * I think everyone should have or at least try.

Money

*Pageonce - gets you up to date info on all your accounts/bills.

Square - lets you receive credit card payments. Great for small businesses.

mooch - tracks what people owe you and you owe them.

*Shop Savvy Barcode Scanner - scans barcodes and QR and gives good prices.

Paperlinks - just does QR codes if you don't want the other barcode scanning.

SnapTell - uses the camera to scan bar codes or book covers or cds to give you the best prices.

*Where - I just use it for cheapest gas prices, but it does much more.

PayPal - cash checks into your paypal account using your camera.

Food\Weight\Self improvement

*Urbanspoon - fun shake to find a restaurant app.

*CheckPlease - my favorite tip calculator.

Target WEIGHT - shows you your progress losing weight and has notifications for pounds you still want to lose.

Calorie Counter - follow your calories and scan food products to show what you ate.

Nike+ GPS - it tracks your running and tells you how fast your go.

Streaks - lets you check daily if you accomplished things you wanted to.

Math\Reference

Convertbot - awesome converter for any kind of measure.

Computing Assistant - great calculator for anyone that uses binary, hex or octal.

Pi Cubed - an awesome calculator.

*Dictionary.com - a good dictionary.

*Google Translate - translates even between Spanish and Farsi.

Speedtest.net - find out your internet speed.

iBooks- it is good for stuff you want to read.

Music

*Soundhound - it listens to the radio or you humming and find the song with lyrics.

*Tunewiki - scrolls the lyrics of the song you are listening to with the "iPod."

Pandora Radio - good stations for long time listening.

Magic Stave - listens to notes and tells you which one it is.

Ocarina - play an instrument by blowing on your speaker.

Symphony - compose your own music.

Movies\TV

IMDB -who else was that guy in?

Fandango - what is in the theater right now?

Netflix - lets go watch some show that went off the air 10 years ago.

Google TV Remote - if you have a google tv you now have an extra remote with voice recoginiton.

Kids In Mind - find out how bad movies actually are.

Peel - it shows you what is on your TV in a very nice way. No more TV guide channel.

Redflix - lets you find coupons for redbox movies.

RunPee - tells you the best time to take a bathroom break in a movie.

Social

Google+ - the newest and happiest social network.

Facebook- you know the drill/

Twitter - for any good beliber.

BlogBooster - update your blogger or others blogs.

Tumblr - for all you tumblr bloggers.

*Meebo - the best chat client ever.

Talkatone - a google talk client that automatically makes internet calls through google voice.

fring - useful for some chat, but more importantly includes voip/sip.

Google Voice - google's somewhat annoying app.

GV Mobile + - cost some, but often prefereable to the Google Voice app.

contactus - edit your google contact groups, only makes sense if you use gvmax for mass texts.

Church (I am a good LDS boy.)

Bible.is - the bible, written or read to you, with or without dramatic background music.

*LDS Gospel Library - scriptures and more.

LDS Tools - on the go ward/stake list.

LDS Hymns - sing your heart out.

*Mormon Channel - listen to scriptures, ensigns and much more.

LDS Why? - youth questions, with good answers

Games

Falling Balls - fun accelerometer game.

*Geocaching - pricey, but way great for dates, here's the intro version.

Get Your Bearings - do you know where things are?

Hungry Shark - girls love this for some reason.

*Lightsaber - everyone needs one sometimes.

Paper Toss - can you throw the paper away?

Parallelous - how good are you at multitasking?

:Shift: - this and the squeal are fun.

Smack that Gugl - really kiddy, but fun.

Tilt to Live - best iPhone game ever.

Touch Hockey - air hockey with friends is fun.

Tunnel 3D - another fun accelerometer game.

WeDraw - if you have a smart TV and a bunch of friends with smart phones, try it.

Most of the apps I had I got for free, but some really were worth buying. Mostly I got lucky and got while they were free for a limited time.

I recommend looking at most of these, I have gone through more apps than anyone I know, and these are the ones that I decided to keep. All you Appolytes out there should check them out. Android people, half of them are available, and some even work much better, like google+, although most are a build or two behind. I hope all the time I spent linking every app was worth it.

Rant: Dell Network Card

This is the main reason that I do not like dell products and haven't since I was like 15. That at least a 10 year grudge. In those ten years dell could have solved this problem but even last week the problem still exists. None plug and play network cards! Seriously though this is the most annoying thing ever. About the only time you will ever notice this is on a fresh install of Windows. After windows installs you need to go to the Windows update page, and fix all your drivers so that everything works like it is supposed to. This is where you hit the problem. There is no possible way to get to the internet, or even your home network. You have to go on another computer download the network driver from Dells web page, and then transfer it to the computer by something physical like a cd, or jump drive. 10 years ago when I didn't have wireless access to other computer or jump drives it was a bit more annoying, I had to find the cd that came with the computer. The technology for network cards hasn't really changed, so I don't know why in the world we still dont' have plug and play network cards.

Dell you suck! Fix this! I have already waited 10 years! At least make a deal with Microsoft to include your driver in windows so this problem doesn't happen.

Rave: Clever People

Someone just had this video posted on facebook. The video is annoying and long, but how cool is the load bar. Clever people make me happy.

UPDATE: I guess youtube caught on, it no longer has the awesome bar, but enjoy the music anyay.

Rant: Receipts

The other day I went to return a book, but didn't have a receipt, because I had lost it. It didn't matter that they had scanned my ID card, and knew that I had purchased the book from them only days before. Since I lost that piece of paper they charged me $10 to return it. How lame. I really don't like holding on to useless paper. Receipts are technology from before computers, now in the computer era they need to make their move out of existence and stop wasting trees. We have the information of buying things through online backing and credit card statements, which also waste trees. Why can't technology we use just work instead of letting use get stuck with old wasteful traditions.